NEWS FLASH: In just over two weeks, the Royal Family repeatedly demonstrated that the Crown always prevails.

My understanding is that most members of the Royal Family don’t watch the program, and while they have no doubt been briefed about its contents, they’re used to tabloid stories and while they no doubt think many of the things in the show are “vile,” I doubt they’re going to comment about the show in public. As usual, they turn a blind eye and carry on with no comment.

In the tabloids, ‘close friends’ or ‘palace staff’ are quoted as saying something that they overheard in a private conversation, or they speculate about what might have been said, or what someone might have thought. I tend to take these comments with a grain of salt.

If I were a member of the Royal Family, I would find the entire program ‘vile’ because it’s very intrusive and deals with subject matter that should be left private.

I could tell you that the Queen thinks it’s a bit of a bloody joke and that the Duke of Edinburgh thinks it’s crap, but the reality is that no one knows what they think because they are very private people. We don’t even know if Her Majesty gets angry if Phil leaves the toilet seat up or if he gets pissed off at her bloody corgis sitting on the sofas. It’s one of life’s great mysteries.